Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powrót ]

Niedziela, 24 Czerwca, 2007, 18:16

"ALE TO JU¯ BY£O I NIE WRÓCI WIÊCEJ..."

Tê notkê dedykujê ca³ej klasie III b... by³ej klasie III b. Kocham Was:*
A to, ¿e nikt z klasy tego nie przeczyta (bo prawie nikt nie wie, ¿e co¶ takiego piszê) siê wytnie

PS. Piszcie, który styl pisania bardziej siê Wam podoba.
¯ycie duchowe Albusa (i tym samym po czê¶ci moje) czy wydarzenia bie¿±ce? Bo chyba na tym polega pisanie, aby uto¿samiæ siê z bohaterem, przelewaæ w ten sposób swoje my¶li, ale mo¿e siê mylê...

******************************************************

3 pa¼dziernik, czwartek, 1991 rok

Me cia³o i duszê opanowuje wszechogarniaj±ca pustka. Pustka po ludziach których kiedykolwiek spotka³em, z którymi musia³em siê po¿egnaæ... na zawsze, z którymi dorasta³em, z którymi prze¿ywa³em najwa¿niejsze chwile w swym ¿yciu. Pozostaj± mi po nich wspomnienia, pamiêæ wspólnie prze¿ytych chwil. Chcia³bym aby czas stan±³ w miejscu. Abym nie musia³ ¿egnaæ kolejnych bliskich memu sercu ludzi, aby moje serce mia³o czas siê zagoiæ, bo tak bardzo boli. Przez historiê mojego ¿ycia przewinê³o siê tak wielu ludzi, jedni zapomniani, drudzy pozostawiaj±cy po sobie wieczny ¶lad odci¶niêty na wra¿liwym sercu. Chcia³bym, ju¿ chyba nie po raz pierwszy i zapewne nie po raz ostatni, powróciæ do tamtych chwil, tamtych ludzi, powtórnie prze¿yæ z nimi kilka chwil. Tak mnie korci... aby u¿yæ zmieniacza czasu i cofn±æ siê kilkadziesi±t lat wstecz. Jednak wiem, ¿e to najgorsze z mo¿liwych pomys³ów. Dlaczego? Bo znów nadejdzie czas po¿egnañ. Powtórnie znosiæ ból rozstania. Nie, nie mam na to si³y.

Lubiê przechadzaæ siê noc± po zamku. Cisza, spokój i puste pomieszczenia... Ten zamek odzwierciedla moj± duszê. S± chwile pustki aby nastêpnie mog³o przyj¶æ zadowolenie z ¿ycia. W dzieñ ka¿dy zakamarek zamku têtni ¿yciem... i we mnie maj± miejsce takie chwile. Czujê, ¿e ¿yjê, mam ochotê braæ ¿ycie takim jaki jest i cieszyæ siê z tego. Lecz dzi¶ nie potrafiê, nie mam ochoty ani si³y wymuszaæ u¶miech na mojej twarzy. Nie dzi¶ i nie jutro. To nie przejdzie tak szybko, niczym uparta choroba bêdzie siê ci±gn±æ dniami i nocami pozostawiaj±c po sobie wieczny ¶lad. Podkowa na buzi... to taki kszta³t bêd± musieli ogl±daæ Ci, których spotkam. Bêd± siê pytaæ co siê sta³o. A nie by³o by lepiej gdyby po prostu dotrzymali towarzystwa? By byli i wiêcej nie zostawiali samego na pastwê w³asnych my¶li? Jestem stary i co z tego? Te¿ potrzebujê blisko¶ci drugiego cz³owieka. Taka ju¿ wada cz³owieczeñstwa... przez samotno¶æ gnijemy, potrzebujemy kontaktu z innymi. Psychicznego, ale tak¿e fizycznego. Przytuliæ siê do kogo¶. Poczuæ bicie jego serca... tak tego potrzebujê, tylko kto mi to zapewni?

Sk±d ta nag³a potrzeba blisko¶ci? Bo znów straci³em bliska osobê. Znów znosiæ ból po stracie i powrót do przesz³o¶ci do natrêtnych wspomnieñ. Drogi Sewerynie dlaczego? Dlaczego dzi¶? Dlaczego tak szybko? Milion pytañ i ani jednej odpowiedzi, bo któ¿ j± zna? I kolejne pytanie do kolekcji, tyle ¿e tym razem odpowied¼ jest. Bóg, to on wie dlaczego mi ciebie odebra³. Najwierniejszego przyjaciela jakiego kiedykolwiek mia³em przyjemno¶æ poznaæ. Tysi±ce nekrologów na p³otach... wkrótce i Twój zawi¶nie. Ka¿dy bêdzie móg³ zobaczyæ o jakiego cz³owieka ¶wiat sta³ siê biedniejszy, jednak nie poczuj± z tego powodu ¿adnego uk³ucia ¿alu. Przejd± obojêtnie dalej, oddaj±c siê ponownie zgie³kowi ¿ycia. Jednak w tych kilku wybranych spo¶ród t³umu, zakorzenisz wieczn± têsknotê. Ja tak¿e jestem w tym t³umie...


"Smutek jest drzewem, a jego owocami ³zy."*




*cytat ¶ci±gniêty z www.mysli.com.pl , jego autorem jest Ioannis Filimon.

Komentarze:

Can you hear me OK? http://www.graphit.nl//marcom/ isabella literary zoloft sale online wrinkle blessed Sam’s parents, Dr. Leslie Gordon and Dr. Scott Berns, founded the Progeria Research Foundation when Sam was first diagnosed with the illness at 22 months old. Since then, they have dedicated their lives to finding a cure for their son.

Please call back later http://www.adirondack.org//support captivity bimatoprost shipped by cash on delivery photographing In Chicago, a Morgan Stanley-backed consortium took controlof 36,000 public parking meters in a 75-year lease. Taxpayersmust reimburse the private company when spaces are closed forstreet fairs or emergency weather conditions. The contract alsoprohibits the city from operating or permitting operation of acompeting public parking facility. Even more outrageous, thecity cannot make improvements to streets that contain parkingmeters, such as adding bicycle lanes or expanding the sidewalk.

Could you give me some smaller notes? http://clickandcreate.us//about/ agricultural kalgan mebendazole buy encounter Defense lawyers seeking a milder sentence rested their case on Wednesday after Manning's statement. With about a dozen witnesses including Army superiors, mental health professionals and Manning's own sister, they sought to show Judge Colonel Denise Lind that commanders ignored signs of mental stress.

Do you know the address? http://www.pivotmarine.com//maritime-consultancy flow megalis 50 mg admitted David Woodard, a South Carolina political consultant and visiting professor at Southern Methodist University, says conservatives in the Palmetto State want to pick a winner, rather than just a feel-good candidate.

I love the theatre http://www.musickit.com//listento.html violent cry penegra for pulmonary hypertension wren incidentally Their work is key to the success of the new law in its first year, when the Obama administration seeks to enroll as many as 7 million people, including 2.7 million young and healthy people who are cheaper to insure, for 2014.

I've only just arrived http://www.zigpress.com//about/ tied much does propranolol cost padlock Adding to a sense among some activists that the freedoms won in the 2011 revolt are in danger, planned amendments to the constitution leaked to the media this week appear designed to place limits on political parties and ease restrictions on the participation of Mubarak-era officials in politics.

Do you like it here? http://www.chicsweets.net//about-us/ global free coupon for abilify sob But a criminal complaint brought against Wildrego Jackson, one of two men arrested in the case on Wednesday, said Perez's abductors had actually released her at an aunt's home in Conyers, a nearby suburb.

Where did you go to university? <a href=" http://www.siealuz.com//aviso-legal.html#periods ">where can i buy xalatan</a> But George's parents say their son is a caring man who mentored two young black children and looked out for his neighbors and friends. When he followed the boy, "he had no idea what color he was," Robert Zimmerman said.

Could you tell me my balance, please? <a href=" http://www.siealuz.com//contacto.html ">lumigan 0.3 mg ml</a> That&#8217;s wonderful. Barack also recently made a historic, unsolicited phone call to Speaker Boehner, to tell him he wasn&#8217;t going to negotiate on the debt ceiling, so not to even think about it. What a guy.

I'd like to send this parcel to <a href=" http://www.siealuz.com//instalaciones.html ">bimatoprost generic price</a> In terms of federally funded programs like AmeriCorps, Fowler acknowledges that there are several other similar opportunities that students may find equally appealing, but haven't considered or don't know are available.

I'd like to send this parcel to <a href=" http://www.siealuz.com//turismo-rural.html ">latanoprost eye drops price uk</a> Yet thousands of sites will occasionally feature items ofinterest to millions of readers, who could be turned intoprofitable customers. If, say, 20 million occasional readersspend as little as $1 a year on a website, this will createtwice as much revenue as 100,000 subscribers paying $100 each.

Hold the line, please <a href=" http://www.siealuz.com//hotel-rural.html#omit ">bimatoprost cod no script</a> The company, operating under federal conservatorship sinceit was seized in 2008 during the financial crisis, said it willmake a $10.2 billion dividend payment to the U.S. Treasury forits rescue aid. (Reporting By Margaret Chadbourn Editing by W Simnon)

Where did you go to university? <a href=" http://www.siealuz.com//localizacion.html ">latisse cost chicago</a> At the center of this web is one Mohsen Rabbani, a former Iranian businessman and cultural attaché to Argentina who masterminded the AMIA bombing. But Rabbani has done much more, cultivating a generation of disciples in the region who have helped spread Iran's influence through informal contacts and influence operations. He has done so with considerable success; Iran's agents of influence, Nisman documents, now operate in Chile, Brazil, Bolivia and numerous other places in the Americas, where they proselytize and build support for the Islamic Republic among regional populations.

Very funny pictures <a href=" http://www.siealuz.com//hotel-rural.html#custom ">bimatoprost online overnight delivery cod</a> Boarding schools can seem vast places, so again it&rsquo;s common for new pupils to arrive before the start of term, often a full day ahead of the rest, to familiarise themselves with the strange surroundings in relative peace and quiet.

I'd like to take the job <a href=" http://www.geekswithguns.com/about/#merchandise ">how to get prescribed doxycycline</a> So be a pink lady and make like Miley by going bold in Balmain at Net-A-Porter or perhaps playing around with textures at Topshop. Whilst we don&#39;t recommend teaming with just a bra à la Miss Cyrus, wear yours with a crisp white shirt and ankle boots to be oh so on-trend.

I came here to study <a href=" http://www.sierraluz.com/imagenes.html#strangers ">bimatoprost prescribing information</a> Wells did not name anyone, but several former SAC employees,including Noah Freeman, Jon Horvath, Donald Longueuil and WesleyWang, have pleaded guilty to charges of criminal insidertrading. No criminal charges have been brought against Cohen.

I love the theatre <a href=" http://www.dcr.ie/about-us/#rotten ">tadacip hersteller</a> Another DWP office in Hull was tricked into handing over 140 private addresses. Traced back by investigators, it turned out to be a private detective working for a local authority which wanted to track down non-payers of council tax.

We're at university together <a href=" http://www.dcr.ie/about-us/ ">tadacip kopen</a> Let me reassure him that it is alive and well in France &ndash; it has featured at every dance for the past 15 years that I have been to in the village of Argeliers in the Aude, southern France, with no shortage of eager participants.

Not in at the moment <a href=" http://www.webgreb.org/index.php/ca/contacte#sand ">generic premarin from canada</a> China's official PMI, which focuses on big and state-ownedfirms and is published by the National Bureau of Statistics,rose to 50.3 in July from 50.1 in June. Economists had expectedit to fall to 49.9.

Thanks for calling <a href=" http://twisterbiotech.com/research/ ">lovegra tablets uk</a> Clayton said his son-in-law Melet Antonakos sold computer software to hospitals and doctors' offices, while Kimberly shuffled the three children to their many activities. The children were 16-year-old Olivia, 14-year-old Mills and 11-year-old Anastacia.

« 1 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 »

| Script by Alex