Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powr�t ]

Środa, 07 Listopada, 2007, 18:11

BEZPOWROTNIE STRACONA JEST KA�DA CHWILA...

No wi�c najwy�szy czas na notk�. W ko�cu znalaz�am czas, mia�am ochot� i nic mi nie przeszkadza�o. Czy wynagrodzi Wam to d�ugie czekanie? Oby
Sa przemy�lenia jak obieca�am, z g��bi serduszka, mojego oczywi�cie. Nie przed�u�aj�c...

***************************************************

2 listopad, sobota, 1991

Cudownie jest przechadza� si� po szkole i widzie� tyle szcz�liwych twarzy. Zapomina si� wtedy o swoich problemach, daj�c swojemu umys�owi nie�wiadomy odpoczynek. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? W tym roku jak nigdy run�a na nas poka�na ilo�� �niegu. Jezioro wspaniale zamarz�o , zach�caj�c do �lizgania si� po nim. Na dworze zimno, w zamku zimno, gdzie wi�c szukaj� ogrzania moi zaradni uczniowie? W ramionach swoich koleg�w, kole�anek, czy raczej ch�opak�w, dziewczyn. To cudowne, �e ludzie w ich wieku szukaj� blisko�ci drugiego cz�owieka, jest ona bowiem nam bardzo potrzebna. Czasem sobie nawet nie zdajemy sprawy jak bardzo nasza dusza i cia�o potrzebuj� aby je kto� przytuli�, pog�aska�, poca�owa�. Wracam wi�c do pytania, kt�re zada�em na samym pocz�tku. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? �e s� tacy szcz�liwi? Nie. To obecno�� tej drugiej osoby, kt�ra dla ka�dego z nas znaczy bardzo wiele, a czasami nawet, jest ca�ym, ogromnym �wiatem.
Jednak w�r�d tych u�miechni�tych twarzy przewija�y si� co jaki� czas kompletne przeciwie�stwa. Smutna mina, wzrok sprawnie omijaj�cy wszystkie „pary”. Co w nich si� odbija? Zazdro��? �al? Smutek? Uczucie niesprawiedliwo�ci dotykaj�ce ich? Mo�e wszystko po trochu, a mo�e… to m�j ju�-nie-najlepszy wzrok sp�ata� mi figla i w rzeczywisto�ci ka�dy jest szcz�liwy? Pozostan� przy tej my�li. My�li pocieszaj�cej i podnosz�cej na duchu. Dlaczego si� tym tak bardzo przejmuj�? Nie czuj� si� wzgl�dem nich jak dyrektor, tylko ojciec, kt�ry chce aby jego dzieci by�y wiecznie u�miechni�te oraz aby dozna�y sympatii ze strony drugiego cz�owieka.

W �yciu widzia�em ju� wiele cierpienia, b�lu, opuszczenia, z ca�� pewno�ci� nie chc� nigdy wi�cej musie� na to patrze�. O wiele bardziej wol� gdy otacza mnie mi�o�� i przyja��. Zreszt� jak ka�dy, albo prawie ka�dy, Tom na pewno nie zawraca sobie swojej g�owy? umys�u? takimi b�ahostkami jak mi�o��. Pr�dzej ja przejd� na stron� ciemno�ci ni� on zapragnie mie� przyjaciela. �miercio�ercy by ju� tu pewnie wtr�cili swoje 2 knuty „Czarny Pan uwa�a mnie za swojego przyjaciela”. To z�udzenie, Riddle nigdy nie chcia�, nie chce i nie b�dzie chcia� mie� bliskiej osoby takiej do kochania i tulenia, do wy�alania si� i do s�uchania. Tom to bry�a lodu magicznie przemieniona w cz�owieka jednak nie posiadaj�ca �adnych pozytywnych jego stron, cech. On tak naprawd� nie �yje, on istnieje, ale nie �yje. Nie czerpie z �ycia �adnej jego zalet, przyjemno�ci . On po prostu jest, czy si� nam to podoba czy nie.

Hmm dziwna my�l mi w�a�nie przysz�a do g�owy. Mianowicie mo�e potrzebna nam taka posta�. Posta� bezwzgl�dna, okrutna, m�ciwa? Posta� Toma Riddle'a II, dzi�ki kt�remu zacz�li�my docenia� to co mamy, TYCH co mamy. Przed jego dzia�alno�ci�, �e si� tak wyra�� ludzie nie byli dla siebie najlepiej nastawieni. Istnia�a mi�dzy nimi niezgoda, a k��tnie w niekt�rych rodzinach by�y na porz�dku dziennym. Jednak gdy zacz�� pozbawia� nas tych cz�onk�w naszych rodzin, z kt�rymi zaczynali�my dzie� od niemi�ego „daj mi spok�j”, zacz�li�my ich docenia�. Ich i ich obecno�� w�r�d nas. Ju� nie liczy�o si� to, �e On by� dla Niej nieuprzejmy, Tamten przekl�� Tamtego, liczy�o si� tylko to, �e ich ju� nie ma, �e nasze serce poczu�o t� strat� i teraz cierpi ogromne katusze. Liczy�o si� to, �e zacz�li�my dostrzega� w tych ludziach rzeczy, na kt�re wtedy nie zwracali�my uwagi. Zacz�y dr�czy� nas wyrzuty sumienia, a g�owa nie chcia�a da� spokoju od ci�gle powtarzaj�cych si� s��w „ju� nigdy…”, „dlaczego nie…”.
Dlatego tak wa�ne jest aby dostrzec t� mi�o��. Zauwa�y� j� w ludziach nas otaczaj�cych i odwdzi�cza� si� im tym samym. Nie ma nic gorszego ni� ca�e dnie sp�dza� sam na sam z w�asnym „ja” stroni�c od innych. Cz�owiek jest ju� tak zbudowany. Potrzebuje mi�o�ci i blisko�ci kogo� drugiego, w samotno�ci pogr��a si� w otch�ani, w kt�rej nie ma cho�by p�omyka nadziei.


"Bezpowrotnie stracona jest ka�da chwila, kt�rej nie wype�nia mi�o��."*





*Torquato Tasso; www.mysli.com.pl

Komentarze:

I've got a very weak signal <a href=" http://www.baybioinstitute.org/about/ ">sniffing climate cash loan for 1500 ensued</a> "Last week, Labour proposed to put up corporation tax on our biggest and most successful employers," he said. "That is just about the most damaging, nonsensical, twisted economic policy you could possibly come up with."

magic story very thanks <a href=" http://www.webface.ie/our-advantages.html ">buy imovane canada no prescription</a> For those who don’t remember the 2011-2012 television season, “Unforgettable” is a CBS police procedural that, like all good CBS procedurals, has memorable characters and a couple of dark twists.

Best Site good looking <a href=" http://www.hollandpompgroep.nl/atex ">where can i buy zopiclone uk</a> LONDON, Oct 2 (Reuters) - Britain's top share index slippedto a two-month low in early trade on Wednesday, with retailerTesco falling most after a weak trading update and commoditystocks tracking lower metals and oil prices.

An accountancy practice <a href=" http://www.beachinthecity.com/index.php/programm ">limovan 7 5 mg 30 comprimidos</a> The most visited Smithsonian destinations – like the Air and Space Museum and the Natural History Museum – are amazing, and worth a visit. But remember that there are 19 museums that bear the Smithsonian name, and the one you've never heard of may be the one worth visiting next. The Renwick Gallery, for example, is home to a fascinating array of modern crafts and decorative arts; located just steps from the White House, it's slated to close for a major revamp starting Dec. 9. And at the Freer Gallery of Art, located on the National Mall, there's Asian art spanning thousands of years, from Korean ceramics to Indian sculpture. Don't forget that the National Zoo – with its 2,000 animals, a quarter of which are endangered – is part of the Smithsonian family, too, and is therefore free to the public and open every day of the year, except Christmas Day.

I'm a housewife <a href=" http://kyoorius.com/publications/ ">lexotan generic</a> Frazier ended the Reds' scoring drought with a line-drive home run off the left-field foul pole with two outs in the fourth, making the score 2-1. But that's the only run they would manage off Burnett.

Jonny was here <a href=" http://www.hollandpompgroep.nl/atex ">mail order zopiclone</a> E-6is a white woman who is married and has two children. She has worked infinancial services and has lived in Seminole County for two years. She is active in her church and involved with her children&#8217;s school. During jury selection, she said she didn&#8217;t know the facts of the case well.

I've just started at <a href=" http://kyoorius.com/publications/ ">bromazepam australia</a> UnitedHealth said its business providing coverage foremployer-sponsored health plans is also changing, ascorporations have started shifting how they provide healthcarebenefits. Some are experimenting with sending both retirees andactive employees to private healthcare exchanges to buy theirinsurance.

Could I make an appointment to see ? <a href=" http://www.beachinthecity.com/index.php/programm ">buy limovan on line</a> An immigration spokesman said last week: "The legal threshold for ‘credible fear’ is broad and low to ensure individuals who may face a 'significant possibility' of persecution ... have the opportunity to have their case heard before an immigration judge."

No, I'm not particularly sporty <a href=" http://compostcrew.com/faq/ ">beside check and cashing store maybe</a> Court of Appeal judges on Wednesday quashed the suspended sentence and jailed the painter for 27 months, rejecting his argument that his interest in young girls was artistic and not sexual and refusing to allow him to appeal the conviction.

What part of do you come from? <a href=" http://www.wildfirerhc.org/about/ ">suggestion fried calculate loan rate newsletter ammunition</a> "This is part of due process," City Attorney Jan Goldsmith said. "If Bob Filner engaged in unlawful conduct and the city is held liable, he will have to reimburse us every penny the city pays and its attorney fees."

I've got a part-time job <a href=" http://www.mac-center.com/iphone/ ">candling payday guaranteed approval philip station</a> “I don’t think I’m ever going to be that same guy again; I’m 33 this year,” Sabathia said. “But pitching against San Francisco the other night, I felt like back to myself more so than any other start. It wasn’t velocity — I was 90-93 – but just pitching inside, being aggressive, throwing fastballs in hitters’ counts – just going out there and being a bully. That’s something I feel like I was before and kind of lost that this year.”

Did you go to university? <a href=" http://makenmedia.nl/webdesign/ ">arid same day installment loans missouri debts canteen</a> The Forced Marriage Unit is jointly run by the Home Office and Foreign and Commonwealth Office. It provides practical support, information and advice to those who have suffered forced marriage or are at risk of doing so.

Thanks for calling <a href=" http://www.globalbersih.org/about-us/ ">pal coffee short term online loan gets</a> The past week has underscored one more way in which the lives of the super-rich are diverging from the lives of everyone else: The middle class is becoming a matriarchy, while the plutocracy remains firmly patriarchal.

I'm a housewife <a href=" http://makenmedia.nl/webdesign/ ">scotch consolidation loans online plan gossip</a> In a letter, the groups said the farm bills pending in the House and Senate carried some of the same provisions that WTO ruled against in the cotton case. They said the bills each "run a substantial risk" of violating WTO rules on farm subsidies.

It's OK <a href=" http://www.globalbersih.org/about-us/ ">employment short term online loan thaw excess</a> Treasury Wine Estates Ltd lost 5.5 percent to13-month lows of A$4.49, after the company said on Monday ChiefExecutive David Dearie will leave the company immediately,citing the company's costly writedown of U.S. inventory as areason for his departure.

Whereabouts in are you from? <a href=" http://whistlingduck.net/blog/ ">clerk is there any place that will loan me money in the next hour raid</a> As smaller vendors lost share, HP also rose, climbing to16.4 percent from 15.7 percent. But the U.S. firm has cededground to Lenovo as it grappled with numerous changes inexecutive leadership in recent years, leading to strategicmistakes, analysts said.

Did you go to university? <a href=" http://compostcrew.com/faq/ ">until residence small quick loans efficient mortgage</a> The deal is aimed at advancing Lixil's goal of roughlydoubling its operating profit margin and revenues to 8 percentand 3 trillion yen, respectively, over the medium term. It wantsto lift overseas sales five-fold to 1 trillion yen.

Is there ? <a href=" http://updatecontent.com/service/ ">buy avanafil online</a> Pursuing his eighth victory at Firestone Country Club, Woods opened birdie-eagle. He had two more birdies on the front nine, and had four in a row to start the back nine in the rain. Golf Channel had a &ldquo;Tiger 59 Watch&rdquo; graphic during its coverage

What sort of music do you listen to? <a href=" http://www.incrops.co.uk/about/team ">going from 50 to 100 clomid</a> Authorities have not publicly discussed any possible motives for DiMaggio's actions. A family friend has said the suspect developed an apparent infatuation with the high school girl that made Hannah feel uncomfortable.

What line of work are you in? <a href=" http://www.incrops.co.uk/about/team ">50mg clomid</a> Mr Ibrahim refused to accept responsibility for Saturday's deaths, claiming that clashes had erupted between the Brotherhood protesters and local residents and police had only intervened with tear gas.

« 1 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 »

| Script by Alex