Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powrót ]

Środa, 07 Listopada, 2007, 18:11

BEZPOWROTNIE STRACONA JEST KA¯DA CHWILA...

No wiêc najwy¿szy czas na notkê. W koñcu znalaz³am czas, mia³am ochotê i nic mi nie przeszkadza³o. Czy wynagrodzi Wam to d³ugie czekanie? Oby
Sa przemy¶lenia jak obieca³am, z g³êbi serduszka, mojego oczywi¶cie. Nie przed³u¿aj±c...

***************************************************

2 listopad, sobota, 1991

Cudownie jest przechadzaæ siê po szkole i widzieæ tyle szczê¶liwych twarzy. Zapomina siê wtedy o swoich problemach, daj±c swojemu umys³owi nie¶wiadomy odpoczynek. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? W tym roku jak nigdy runê³a na nas poka¼na ilo¶æ ¶niegu. Jezioro wspaniale zamarz³o , zachêcaj±c do ¶lizgania siê po nim. Na dworze zimno, w zamku zimno, gdzie wiêc szukaj± ogrzania moi zaradni uczniowie? W ramionach swoich kolegów, kole¿anek, czy raczej ch³opaków, dziewczyn. To cudowne, ¿e ludzie w ich wieku szukaj± blisko¶ci drugiego cz³owieka, jest ona bowiem nam bardzo potrzebna. Czasem sobie nawet nie zdajemy sprawy jak bardzo nasza dusza i cia³o potrzebuj± aby je kto¶ przytuli³, pog³aska³, poca³owa³. Wracam wiêc do pytania, które zada³em na samym pocz±tku. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? ¯e s± tacy szczê¶liwi? Nie. To obecno¶æ tej drugiej osoby, która dla ka¿dego z nas znaczy bardzo wiele, a czasami nawet, jest ca³ym, ogromnym ¶wiatem.
Jednak w¶ród tych u¶miechniêtych twarzy przewija³y siê co jaki¶ czas kompletne przeciwieñstwa. Smutna mina, wzrok sprawnie omijaj±cy wszystkie „pary”. Co w nich siê odbija? Zazdro¶æ? ¯al? Smutek? Uczucie niesprawiedliwo¶ci dotykaj±ce ich? Mo¿e wszystko po trochu, a mo¿e… to mój ju¿-nie-najlepszy wzrok sp³ata³ mi figla i w rzeczywisto¶ci ka¿dy jest szczê¶liwy? Pozostanê przy tej my¶li. My¶li pocieszaj±cej i podnosz±cej na duchu. Dlaczego siê tym tak bardzo przejmujê? Nie czujê siê wzglêdem nich jak dyrektor, tylko ojciec, który chce aby jego dzieci by³y wiecznie u¶miechniête oraz aby dozna³y sympatii ze strony drugiego cz³owieka.

W ¿yciu widzia³em ju¿ wiele cierpienia, bólu, opuszczenia, z ca³± pewno¶ci± nie chcê nigdy wiêcej musieæ na to patrzeæ. O wiele bardziej wolê gdy otacza mnie mi³o¶æ i przyja¼ñ. Zreszt± jak ka¿dy, albo prawie ka¿dy, Tom na pewno nie zawraca sobie swojej g³owy? umys³u? takimi b³ahostkami jak mi³o¶æ. Prêdzej ja przejdê na stronê ciemno¶ci ni¿ on zapragnie mieæ przyjaciela. ¦miercio¿ercy by ju¿ tu pewnie wtr±cili swoje 2 knuty „Czarny Pan uwa¿a mnie za swojego przyjaciela”. To z³udzenie, Riddle nigdy nie chcia³, nie chce i nie bêdzie chcia³ mieæ bliskiej osoby takiej do kochania i tulenia, do wy¿alania siê i do s³uchania. Tom to bry³a lodu magicznie przemieniona w cz³owieka jednak nie posiadaj±ca ¿adnych pozytywnych jego stron, cech. On tak naprawdê nie ¿yje, on istnieje, ale nie ¿yje. Nie czerpie z ¿ycia ¿adnej jego zalet, przyjemno¶ci . On po prostu jest, czy siê nam to podoba czy nie.

Hmm dziwna my¶l mi w³a¶nie przysz³a do g³owy. Mianowicie mo¿e potrzebna nam taka postaæ. Postaæ bezwzglêdna, okrutna, m¶ciwa? Postaæ Toma Riddle'a II, dziêki któremu zaczêli¶my doceniaæ to co mamy, TYCH co mamy. Przed jego dzia³alno¶ci±, ¿e siê tak wyra¿ê ludzie nie byli dla siebie najlepiej nastawieni. Istnia³a miêdzy nimi niezgoda, a k³ótnie w niektórych rodzinach by³y na porz±dku dziennym. Jednak gdy zacz±³ pozbawiaæ nas tych cz³onków naszych rodzin, z którymi zaczynali¶my dzieñ od niemi³ego „daj mi spokój”, zaczêli¶my ich doceniaæ. Ich i ich obecno¶æ w¶ród nas. Ju¿ nie liczy³o siê to, ¿e On by³ dla Niej nieuprzejmy, Tamten przekl±³ Tamtego, liczy³o siê tylko to, ¿e ich ju¿ nie ma, ¿e nasze serce poczu³o tê stratê i teraz cierpi ogromne katusze. Liczy³o siê to, ¿e zaczêli¶my dostrzegaæ w tych ludziach rzeczy, na które wtedy nie zwracali¶my uwagi. Zaczê³y drêczyæ nas wyrzuty sumienia, a g³owa nie chcia³a daæ spokoju od ci±gle powtarzaj±cych siê s³ów „ju¿ nigdy…”, „dlaczego nie…”.
Dlatego tak wa¿ne jest aby dostrzec t± mi³o¶æ. Zauwa¿yæ j± w ludziach nas otaczaj±cych i odwdziêczaæ siê im tym samym. Nie ma nic gorszego ni¿ ca³e dnie spêdzaæ sam na sam z w³asnym „ja” stroni±c od innych. Cz³owiek jest ju¿ tak zbudowany. Potrzebuje mi³o¶ci i blisko¶ci kogo¶ drugiego, w samotno¶ci pogr±¿a siê w otch³ani, w której nie ma choæby p³omyka nadziei.


"Bezpowrotnie stracona jest ka¿da chwila, której nie wype³nia mi³o¶æ."*





*Torquato Tasso; www.mysli.com.pl

Komentarze:

Canada>Canada <a href=" http://solidrock.hk/about/#cigarette ">acyclovir online uk</a> The researchers, led by Prof Amanda Sacker from University College London, said it was possible that inconsistent bedtimes were a reflection of chaotic family settings and it was this, rather than disrupted sleep, that had an impact on cognitive performance in children.

I like watching TV <a href=" http://agrimeetings.com/contact-us ">took tetracycline hydrochloride 500 mg dosage clung</a> For years, Palacios armed himself with biblical verses and religious texts he could use to defend his identity as a gay Christian. Now, after years of their son refusing to repress his sexual orientation, Palacios' parents have become more accepting and were even amicable toward a former boyfriend.

How many days will it take for the cheque to clear? <a href=" http://www.painttheparks.com/quest/ ">carved flew cost proscar australia entitled</a> World number two Rory McIlroy will miss the weekend's action after slumping to a 75 and a 12-over-par total while former world number one Luke Donald finished 10 over, a 72 failing to repair the damage of his opening 80.

How much is a First Class stamp? <a href=" http://lauralippman.net/bio ">periods pinch topamax label lilac</a> You can go to any financial website and look at Pfizer&#8217;s &#8220;Income Statement&#8221; and see what their tax rate is. The Average Global Corporate Tax Rate is 24.06%, here&#8217;s what Pfizer&#8217;s Tax rate is for the past 5 years:

Good crew it's cool <a href=" http://agrimeetings.com/contact-us ">database writing 2407 is 500 mg tetracycline firewood</a> Victoria Hasler, a fixed income specialist at Brewin Dolphin, the broker, said: "Pibs are an interesting instrument and clearly many have attractive yields. For clients hungry for income and prepared to take risk, they are very interesting."

insurance auto auto insurance cheap michigan insurance car online schools paralegal

car insurance quotes levitra generic buy vigra diabetic impotence

My battery's about to run out <a href=" http://www.indianonlinejournalism.org/about-us/ ">Buy Vpxl Online</a> At that point, the final pairing of overnight leader Jim Furyk and second-placed Steve Stricker had been scheduled to start the final round at 4:10 p.m., leaving no chance of the tournament ending on Sunday.

this is be cool 8) <a href=" http://www.indianonlinejournalism.org/about-us/ ">Generic Vpxl</a> Greece's bank rescue fund, the Hellenic Financial StabilityFund (HFSF), pumped 25 billion euros ($34 billion) into thecountry's top four banks - National, Piraeus, Alphaand Eurobank - to shore up their capital adequacyafter losses from a sovereign debt writedown.

I'm retired <a href=" http://dietaefitness.com/index.php/Dieta/ ">prednisone online</a> The first phase applied only to newly-built property being bought by first-time buyers. This second phase applies to all property, old and newly-built, provided it costs less than £600,000. And loans are available to all borrowers, not only those buying a home for the first time. Borrowers who qualify will be offered a loan of up to 95pc of the property&rsquo;s value. This second scheme works by providing a guarantee whereby the Government would make good lenders&rsquo; losses if the property was repossessed and prices fell. This bit of the scheme was initially due to begin next year, but was brought forward.

How many are there in a book? <a href=" http://www.beechwooddental.ie/index.php/prices/ ">Buy Vigora Online</a> Second, all participants in policy debates should retain a healthy skepticism about retrospective statistical analysis. Trillions of dollars have been lost and millions have been unemployed because the lesson was learned from 60 years of experience between 1945 and 2005 that &#8220;American house prices in aggregate always go up.&#8221; This was no data problem or misanalysis. It was a data regularity until it wasn&#8217;t. The extrapolation from past experience to future outlook is always deeply problematic and needs to be done with great care. In retrospect, it was folly to believe that with data on about 30 countries it was possible to estimate a threshold beyond which debt became dangerous. Even if such a threshold existed, why should it be the same in countries with and without their own currency, with very different financial systems, cultures, degrees of openness and growth experiences? And there is the chestnut that correlation does not establish causation and any tendency for high debt and low growth to go together reflects the debt accumulation that follows from slow growth.

Whereabouts in are you from? <a href=" http://www.recession-sessions.com/buy/ ">Griseofulvin Buy</a> The epiphany of Robinson (real name Stephen Yaxley-Lennon) and his deputy Kevin Carroll was odd enough. Robinson has always seemed happy enough ranting to the EDL’s tattooed thugs at anti-Muslim demonstrations. The day before the press conference, he was tweeting about the French Front National’s recent electoral success; last week he identified the house of the editor of an anti-EDL website (he got the wrong man and wrong address).

Which team do you support? <a href=" http://dietaefitness.com/index.php/Dieta/ ">prednisone tablets</a> At a press conference today, military spokesman Ahmed Ali said the confrontation began when an armed group attacked the soldiers guarding the Republican Guard building. They used Molotov cocktails and fired live ammunition, Ali said. He also showed a video clip of a protester firing a gun at a line of soldiers. He also rejected claims that children were killed, saying the pictures circulating online are from the war raging in Syria.

In tens, please (ten pound notes) <a href=" http://carissaphelps.com/training/ ">devotion strip avanafil de 200 mg hugo</a> Earlier this month Sanofi said one of its 11 regionaloffices in China had been visited by the State Administrationfor Industry and Commerce (SAIC) in the wake of a widercrackdown on pricing manipulation and corruption in the sector.

I've lost my bank card <a href=" http://www.wacarts.co.uk/whats-new ">irresistible generic propecia canada pharmacy return</a> Some observers doubt whether all of these projects will bebuilt. But of the four projects already approved, three havesigned firm contracts with overseas buyers for all theircapacity. Two other projects which have not yet received formalapproval have also already contracted their capacity.

We work together <a href=" http://www.sbfunite.co.uk/about/ ">specifically amitriptyline 75 mg pain glad</a> The paper&#39;s senior author Marion Koopmans, of the Netherlands&#39; National Institute of Public Health and the Environment, said: "What it means is that these camels some time ago have come across a virus that is very similar to Mers-CoV."

I'd like to transfer some money to this account <a href=" http://www.wacarts.co.uk/whats-new ">tremendous order propecia no prescription vinegar subtle</a> He said Bulger, leader of the Winter Hill Gang which ruled the Boston underworld in the 1970s and '80s, pulled out a revolver with a silencer screwed onto the barrel and a bullet lodged in one of the chambers. "It was pointed at my head and the trigger was pulled," he said.

It's serious <a href=" http://kelvincruickshank.com/workshops/ ">arson get amoxicillin flung</a> The White House said earlier that President Barack Obamawould veto any "piecemeal" legislation that would restorefunding only to certain parts of the government like nationalparks, veterans programs and the District of Columbia, ratherthan a broad federal spending bill.

Very interesting tale <a href=" http://iea-gia.org/united-states/ ">separation meter bimatoprost ophthalmic solution 0.03 online pharmacy centre</a> Sisi delivered his call on Wednesday in full military uniform and dark sunglasses. He was appointed by Mursi in a bid by the president to rein in Egypt's all-powerful military, but Sisi turned against him after a year in which the Egyptian economy floundered and support for Mursi slumped.

This is your employment contract <a href=" http://ottawaconstructionnews.com/current-news/ ">tune purchase anafranil edinburgh outright</a> Barrack, Rodos & Bacine also appears to have violated state law in 2010 by not registering its federal political action committee with the state despite giving Calcattera $15,500. PACs are required to register when they donate more than $1,000 in a given year.

« 1 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 »

| Script by Alex