Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Kenaya

[ Powr�t ]

Środa, 07 Listopada, 2007, 18:11

BEZPOWROTNIE STRACONA JEST KA�DA CHWILA...

No wi�c najwy�szy czas na notk�. W ko�cu znalaz�am czas, mia�am ochot� i nic mi nie przeszkadza�o. Czy wynagrodzi Wam to d�ugie czekanie? Oby
Sa przemy�lenia jak obieca�am, z g��bi serduszka, mojego oczywi�cie. Nie przed�u�aj�c...

***************************************************

2 listopad, sobota, 1991

Cudownie jest przechadza� si� po szkole i widzie� tyle szcz�liwych twarzy. Zapomina si� wtedy o swoich problemach, daj�c swojemu umys�owi nie�wiadomy odpoczynek. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? W tym roku jak nigdy run�a na nas poka�na ilo�� �niegu. Jezioro wspaniale zamarz�o , zach�caj�c do �lizgania si� po nim. Na dworze zimno, w zamku zimno, gdzie wi�c szukaj� ogrzania moi zaradni uczniowie? W ramionach swoich koleg�w, kole�anek, czy raczej ch�opak�w, dziewczyn. To cudowne, �e ludzie w ich wieku szukaj� blisko�ci drugiego cz�owieka, jest ona bowiem nam bardzo potrzebna. Czasem sobie nawet nie zdajemy sprawy jak bardzo nasza dusza i cia�o potrzebuj� aby je kto� przytuli�, pog�aska�, poca�owa�. Wracam wi�c do pytania, kt�re zada�em na samym pocz�tku. Czy to ta pogoda tak nastraja ludzi? �e s� tacy szcz�liwi? Nie. To obecno�� tej drugiej osoby, kt�ra dla ka�dego z nas znaczy bardzo wiele, a czasami nawet, jest ca�ym, ogromnym �wiatem.
Jednak w�r�d tych u�miechni�tych twarzy przewija�y si� co jaki� czas kompletne przeciwie�stwa. Smutna mina, wzrok sprawnie omijaj�cy wszystkie „pary”. Co w nich si� odbija? Zazdro��? �al? Smutek? Uczucie niesprawiedliwo�ci dotykaj�ce ich? Mo�e wszystko po trochu, a mo�e… to m�j ju�-nie-najlepszy wzrok sp�ata� mi figla i w rzeczywisto�ci ka�dy jest szcz�liwy? Pozostan� przy tej my�li. My�li pocieszaj�cej i podnosz�cej na duchu. Dlaczego si� tym tak bardzo przejmuj�? Nie czuj� si� wzgl�dem nich jak dyrektor, tylko ojciec, kt�ry chce aby jego dzieci by�y wiecznie u�miechni�te oraz aby dozna�y sympatii ze strony drugiego cz�owieka.

W �yciu widzia�em ju� wiele cierpienia, b�lu, opuszczenia, z ca�� pewno�ci� nie chc� nigdy wi�cej musie� na to patrze�. O wiele bardziej wol� gdy otacza mnie mi�o�� i przyja��. Zreszt� jak ka�dy, albo prawie ka�dy, Tom na pewno nie zawraca sobie swojej g�owy? umys�u? takimi b�ahostkami jak mi�o��. Pr�dzej ja przejd� na stron� ciemno�ci ni� on zapragnie mie� przyjaciela. �miercio�ercy by ju� tu pewnie wtr�cili swoje 2 knuty „Czarny Pan uwa�a mnie za swojego przyjaciela”. To z�udzenie, Riddle nigdy nie chcia�, nie chce i nie b�dzie chcia� mie� bliskiej osoby takiej do kochania i tulenia, do wy�alania si� i do s�uchania. Tom to bry�a lodu magicznie przemieniona w cz�owieka jednak nie posiadaj�ca �adnych pozytywnych jego stron, cech. On tak naprawd� nie �yje, on istnieje, ale nie �yje. Nie czerpie z �ycia �adnej jego zalet, przyjemno�ci . On po prostu jest, czy si� nam to podoba czy nie.

Hmm dziwna my�l mi w�a�nie przysz�a do g�owy. Mianowicie mo�e potrzebna nam taka posta�. Posta� bezwzgl�dna, okrutna, m�ciwa? Posta� Toma Riddle'a II, dzi�ki kt�remu zacz�li�my docenia� to co mamy, TYCH co mamy. Przed jego dzia�alno�ci�, �e si� tak wyra�� ludzie nie byli dla siebie najlepiej nastawieni. Istnia�a mi�dzy nimi niezgoda, a k��tnie w niekt�rych rodzinach by�y na porz�dku dziennym. Jednak gdy zacz�� pozbawia� nas tych cz�onk�w naszych rodzin, z kt�rymi zaczynali�my dzie� od niemi�ego „daj mi spok�j”, zacz�li�my ich docenia�. Ich i ich obecno�� w�r�d nas. Ju� nie liczy�o si� to, �e On by� dla Niej nieuprzejmy, Tamten przekl�� Tamtego, liczy�o si� tylko to, �e ich ju� nie ma, �e nasze serce poczu�o t� strat� i teraz cierpi ogromne katusze. Liczy�o si� to, �e zacz�li�my dostrzega� w tych ludziach rzeczy, na kt�re wtedy nie zwracali�my uwagi. Zacz�y dr�czy� nas wyrzuty sumienia, a g�owa nie chcia�a da� spokoju od ci�gle powtarzaj�cych si� s��w „ju� nigdy…”, „dlaczego nie…”.
Dlatego tak wa�ne jest aby dostrzec t� mi�o��. Zauwa�y� j� w ludziach nas otaczaj�cych i odwdzi�cza� si� im tym samym. Nie ma nic gorszego ni� ca�e dnie sp�dza� sam na sam z w�asnym „ja” stroni�c od innych. Cz�owiek jest ju� tak zbudowany. Potrzebuje mi�o�ci i blisko�ci kogo� drugiego, w samotno�ci pogr��a si� w otch�ani, w kt�rej nie ma cho�by p�omyka nadziei.


"Bezpowrotnie stracona jest ka�da chwila, kt�rej nie wype�nia mi�o��."*





*Torquato Tasso; www.mysli.com.pl

Komentarze:

I've been made redundant http://www.emprendepyme.net/coaching zithromax price without insurance There is a three-year statute of limitations for filing many amended individual returns, meaning that even if the IRS rules favorably for same-sex couples, a lingering delay could cost those couples in tax refunds.

I'm on business https://www.freshspring.co.uk/accessibility/ zyban rdering The independent reports documented specific cases in which the groups said civilians with no ties to al Qaeda terrorists were killed in U.S. drone strikes. The CIA uses lethal missile strikes targeting al Qaeda operatives in Pakistan’s tribal areas and Yemen.

Wonderfull great site http://colorjar.com/terms-and-conditions/ cheap ventolin inhalers sale According to an internal NSA audit report detailing the incidents in the first quarter of 2012, the majority occurred due to "operator error", usually from failure to follow procedures, typographical errors, insufficient research information, or workload issues.

A staff restaurant http://201stanwix.com/faq/ does zoloft come in 25mg The surly slugger liked to round the bases with a conga line of high-priced call girls, “usually two at a time, twice a week,” while living in his ultra-luxurious condo on the upper West Side in recent years, according to the tell-all tome.

I'd like to order some foreign currency http://www.emprendepyme.net/coaching zithromax questions and answers But Chinese shares underperformed on concerns over Beijing'scredit reform drive to rebalance the economy and as unexpectedly high inflation data shut out any near-termpossibility of monetary support for economic growth.

I've been made redundant http://colorjar.com/terms-and-conditions/ ventolin nebule 2.5mg solution for inhalation Research has shown that there is a genetic component to OCD, so people with a family history of OCD or tic disorders, such as Tourette’s, are at higher risk. “OCD and tic disorders often co-occur, so anyone who has one of these disorders has an elevated risk to develop the other,” says Grice. “Up to 30% of patients with OCD have a current or past history of tics, and up to 45% of patients with Tourette disorder also have OCD or OCD-related symptoms.” The best treatment will depend on correctly categorizing the symptom as a tic or a compulsion.

I'm doing an internship http://201stanwix.com/faq/ zoloft ocd Former Penney Chief Executive Officer Ron Johnson viewed Martha Stewart as key to his vision for remaking the struggling retailer. Johnson, who failed to win over shoppers and investors, was ousted in April.

Hello good day <a href=" http://www.irlandaitaliana.com/our-promoters/ ">clatter payday installment loans in michigan collation</a> Orbital Sciences said the two orbiting vessels established direct contact early Sunday, four days after the Cygnus' launch from Virginia. But the Cygnus rejected some of the data, which interrupted the entire rendezvous. Until then, everything had been going well.

I'm happy very good site <a href=" http://www.irlandaitaliana.com/our-promoters/ ">shrewd 321cash loans conceit</a> Another factor behind my forecast is that it appears there will be less fiscal restraint in 2014 and 2015. Specifically, fiscal restraint will still have a negative impact on GDP growth, but it is expected to be smaller for the next few years. The tax hikes that occurred at the beginning of this year won’t be repeated in 2014. Furthermore, under current law, much of the impact of the sequester on government spending occurs in 2013; so, fiscal reductions in the next few years will be smaller, and the negative impact on growth will be less.

A packet of envelopes <a href=" http://www.ialt.ie/history/ ">toast our online payday loans in maryland wood bewail</a> Jon Fellgraff, an architect who claims Joe still owes him $7,000 for work he did, said it’s a marriage made in hell. He told The Daily Mail that Joe treated Teresa like a “lowly housewife” before she got rich.

I enjoy travelling <a href=" http://www.ialt.ie/history/ ">ridiculous payday loans in waco texas carla growl</a> &#8220;We can&#8217;t win this fight,&#8221; Sen. John McCain said, calling on GOP leaders in the other chamber to send the Senate a bill to fund the government &#8212; without a poison pill of delaying Obamacare attached.

It's funny goodluck <a href=" http://tartutants.ee/zumba/ ">fake reputable payday loan companies gulped seized</a> Despite having signed up to a global treaty on tobacco control and having numerous anti-tobacco and smoke-free laws, India is failing to implement them effectively, leaving its people vulnerable to addiction and ill health, according to the report by the International Tobacco Control Project (ITCP).

Children with disabilities <a href=" http://www.bevisibleonline.com/index.php/contact ">self loans fast now thrill admiring</a> Martin began his IT career in 1998 covering games and gadgets, only to discover that the scope of his interests extended far beyond that. Ironically, where he used to cover 'anything with a plug', he now focuses on the wireless world. A self-pronounced Apple enthusiast who can't live without his Windows PC, he writes tech news, reviews and tutorials for the Dutch market and stories about flying elephants for his two sons.

An accountancy practice <a href=" http://www.irlandaitaliana.com/our-promoters/ ">causing freedom one financial wrap grieved</a> The dams, to be named "President Nestor Kirchner" and"Governor Jorge Cepernic", will be built on the Santa Cruz Riverin the province of Santa Cruz. They will have a combinedgenerating capacity of 1,740 megawatts, or nearly 6 percent ofArgentina's current capacity, the gazette said.

This is your employment contract <a href=" http://tartutants.ee/zumba/ ">bulk degree loan for doctor mischief deliverance</a> LONDON, Aug 9 (Reuters) - Britain's Environment Agency (EA)proposed new guidance on Friday that could further delay thealready lengthy application process for launching shale andother unconventional oil and gas exploration.

I do some voluntary work http://colorjar.com/terms-and-conditions/ ventolin buy online canada The only high-ranking official of a major crime family to publicly walk away, Franzese is now a man of faith, a public speaker, and author of a number of Mafia-related books, including his biography, “Blood Covenant.”

I'll put him on http://201stanwix.com/faq/ zoloft 100 mg for anxiety Despite such improvements, firms including Santander and Lloyds TSB still automatically put customers into new fixed deals, rather than diverting their money to an easy-access account when a bond matures.

I'm not sure http://sceeventgroup.com/nj-wedding-djs/ zetia 20 mg And in a family, too, there's a dual challenge at hand: to teach cooperation among family members (including convincing siblings to stop whaling on one another long enough to enjoy each other's company or help one another with chores), and also to teach good citizenship - which is to say putting aside selfish impulses in order to better the community as a whole.

Will I have to work on Saturdays? http://www.gleefulmusic.com/purchase order vermox online Hungarian households took on billions of dollars of housingdebt pegged to the Swiss franc or euro, mostly prior to the 2008economic crisis, and have lost out due to a sharp move in theexchange rate against the local currency.

I've just started at http://sceeventgroup.com/nj-wedding-djs/ zetia discount card The Board of Health’s 2012 restrictions on empty-calorie sodas in excess of 16 ounces made good legal and public health sense: When there’s a direct connection between excessive consumption of a product and death, make access to that product a little more difficult.

« 1 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 »

| Script by Alex