Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Melisha

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Poniedziałek, 04 Stycznia;, 2010, 20:44

pewne rzeczy nigdy si� nie zmieniaj�...

tiaa... wr�ci�am.
notki nie by�o jakie� 3 miesi�ce... moja wina. przesta�am pisa�... ale teraz jest dobrze ;] mam nadziej�, �a za ka�dym razem, gdy przestan�, co� mi o tym przypomni. wy te� mi tego �yczcie ;]



Lily sz�a ze wzrokiem wbitym w pod�og�. My�la�a intensywnie nad wczorajsz� rozmow� z Carmen. Co, je�li Latynoska mia�a racj�? Je�li to by� dziecinny spos�b na odegranie si�? A je�li nie…? Dziewczyna westchn�a, lecz zaraz potem parskn�a �miechem. Robi si� ze mnie egzaltowana kretynka – pomy�la�a. Je�li chc� si� czego� dowiedzie�, to musz� po prostu pogada� z tym imbecylem. Najlepiej od razu… - z tym postanowieniem pu�ci�a si� p�dem do loch�w, gdzie w�a�nie rozpoczyna�y si� lekcje eliksir�w.
Wparowa�a do klasy dok�adnie z dzwonkiem.
-O, jak mi�o, panna Evans. – powiedzia� Slughorn, u�miechaj�c si� szeroko. Dziewczyna odwzajemni�a u�miech.
-Przepraszam za sp�nienie. - powiedzia�a, spuszczaj�c skromnie oczy. Wiedzia�a, �e Slughorn nic jej nie zrobi, ale o pozory trzeba dba�…
-Ale� c� to za sp�nienie, moja panno, siadaj, siadaj… Inni nawet si� jeszcze nie rozpakowali… - mrucza� nauczyciel. Lilly pos�a�a mu jeden z u�miech�w zarezerwowanych na takie okazje – w jej wzroku kry�o si� podzi�kowanie i rozbawienie. Kilku �lizgon�w prychn�o.
-Tak, tak, moje panie i panowie, zaczynamy. Dzisiaj uwarzymy eliksir humoru…
Lilly wepchn�a si� na miejsce obok Jo. Ta pokr�ci�a g�ow�.
-Jeste� po prostu niewiarygodna. On. Ci�. Kocha. Ub�stwia. Stary pedofil. – wyszczerzy�a si� do niej ciemnow�osa i razem parskn�y �miechem do swoich kocio�k�w.
-I nie tylko on… - rzuci�a cicho Carmen, �widruj�c wzrokiem Pottera, kt�ry niby przypadkowo pochyla� si� w�a�nie w ich stron�. S�ysz�c te s�owa, wzruszy� ramionami, i u�miechaj�c si� zawadiacko, odwr�ci�. Jo parskn�a �miechem. Ruda po chwili wahania te�.
-O. – zdziwi�a si� Carmen, patrz�c na Evans�wn�.
-Ju� mi przesz�o. – powiedzia�a ta, leniwie mieszaj�c w swoim kocio�ku. Jedna idealna brew Latynoski podjecha�a w g�r�, lecz jej w�a�cicielka nic nie powiedzia�a.
-Co ci przesz�o? – spyta�a Jo, nic nie rozumiej�c. Lilly kr�tko stre�ci�a jej, co si� sta�o poprzedniego dnia.
-A to dupek! – mrukn�a cicho i zbyt energicznie zamiesza�a w swoim kocio�ku, czego skutkiem by�a wielka klucha na jego dnie. Znowu zakl�a. Gdy Slughorn si� odwr�ci�, Lilly pomog�a jej doprowadzi� eliksir do zno�nego stanu.

-A to dupek! – powt�rzy�a g�o�no Jo, gdy po sko�czonej lekcji eliksir�w sz�y do klasy transmutacji.
- Co zrobisz? – spyta�a, gdy Ruda nie odpowiada�a.
-Porozmawiam z nim. – rzuci�a Lilly, szczerz�c si�.
-Tiaa… ale mi to zabroni�a� co� mu zrobi�. – mrukn�a Carmen. Evans roze�mia�a si�.
-Nie, naprawd� z nim pogadam. Nic mu nie zrobi�. – przyrzek�a zielonooka.
-To kiedy? – Jo przesz�a do konkret�w.
-Eee… chyba jak najszybciej. – rzuci�a niezdecydowanie Ruda. No tak, �atwiej przedsi�wzi�� plan ni� wcieli� go w �ycie… Ale od czego ma si� przyjaci�?
-No to masz okazj�… - rzuci�a Jo i zanim Ruda skontaktowa�a co si� dzieje, ju� sta�a, a w�a�ciwie chwia�a si� jeszcze po popchni�ciu, przed Jamesem. Skwasi�a si� jeszcze do mijaj�cej ich, chichocz�cej Jo. No tak, przyjaci� ma si� w�a�nie od tego, �eby ci� stawiali w debilnych sytuacjach…
-Cze��. – rzuci�a dziarsko do Pottera. Ch�opak wytrzeszczy� do niej oczy i rozejrza� si�. Ale w pobli�u nikogo nie by�o, wszyscy spieszyli si� na lekcje i korytarz by� pusty.
-Odzywasz si� do mnie? – spyta� zatem zdziwiony.
-Nie, otru�am ci� na eliksirach i to, co ci si� teraz dzieje to halucynacje. – mrukn�a ironicznie, poprawiaj�c pasek torby. Ch�opak zastanowi� si�.
- To by�oby mo�liwe… ale wtedy m�g�bym zrobi� tak… - odpowiedzia� i szybko przyci�gn�� j� do siebie. Zanim zd��y� wykona� nast�pny ruch, le�a� ju� na pod�odze trzy metry dalej. Tiaa, kurs samoobrony zdany z wyr�nieniem 2 lata temu si� przydaje…
-Czyli jednak to nie halucynacje. – wyszczerzy� z�by, podnosz�c si� i otrzepuj�c. Na te s�owa oczy Rudej za�mi� gniew.
-Kretyn. – rzuci�a i min�a go, jakby nie istnia�.
-I tak ci� kocham! – krzykn�� za ni�. Zanim znikn�a za rogiem, zauwa�y� jeszcze, jak jej r�ka konwulsyjnie zacisn�a si� na r�d�ce. Wybuchn�� �miechem, targaj�c sobie w�osy. Ruszy� za dziewczyn�.

Ruda do��czy�a do klasy pod sal� transmutacji, lecz z rozmow� z przyjaci�kami poczeka�a na wej�cie i zaj�cie miejsc.
-Porozmawia� to si� raczej z nim nie da. – mrukn�a do przyjaci�ki, opadaj�c na krzes�o obok Jo. Ta unios�a wysoko brew, i szybko spojrza�a na Pottera, ale widz�c siniak na jego policzku, parskn�a �miechem. Carmen r�wnie� go zauwa�y�a.
-Lilly, zapominasz, kto jest ciemn� stron� w naszym zwi�zku… - mrukn�a.
-To ja tu jestem od pojedynk�w, pami�taj… - doda�a.
-Sooorki. – rzuci�a do niej Ruda. Latynoska prychn�a i skupi�a si� na zakl�ciu.
-Ale teraz przynajmniej wiesz. – stwierdzi�a, poprawnie rzucaj�c zakl�cie na kubek i z satysfakcj� obserwuj�c, jak wylatuje przez okno.
-Hm? Co wiem? – mrukn�a Lily, skupiaj�c si� na swojej p�on�cej fili�ance.
-Po jego obra�eniach i g�upiej minie wnioskuj�, �e pr�bowa� ci� nagabywa�. Czyli nadal ci�… kocha. –stwierdzi�a Carmen, uwa�nie obserwuj�c Rud�.
Ta tylko wzruszy�a ramionami.
Fili�anka, nadal p�on�c, unios�a si� ze sto�u, po czym po okr��eniu sali kilka razy, rozsypa�a si� w drobny mak.

***

-Hej, Luniek! Luniek! - Remus odwr�ci� si�, s�ysz�c wo�anie. Ku niemu bieg�a Lily, z rozwianymi w�osami i iskrami w oczach.
-Zrozumia�am! – wydysza�a, przystaj�c obok niego i pr�buj�c z�apa� oddech. Lupin zmarszczy� si� i rozejrza�, na szcz�cie nikogo nie by�o w pobli�u. No tak, koniec lekcji, a na b�oniach rozlewa si� wrze�niowy �ar… idealna pogoda na rozmowy o wakacjach…
-Lil… my�l�, �e nie powinni�my… spotyka� si�… przez jaki� czas… - mrukn��, poprawiaj�c rami� od torby i unikaj�c jej wzroku. Ruda wyprostowa�a si�, zdziwiona.
-Boisz si� go? – spyta�a, mru��c oczy.
-Nie o to chodzi! My go po prostu… ranimy. – westchn��.
-Dzisiaj, gdy pr�bowa� mnie obmacywa�, wcale nie wygl�da� na zranionego. – prychn�a.
-�E CO?!
-No… bo spr�bowa�am z nim pogada�…
-ST�J. TY chcia�a� z NIM pogada�? – spyta� pe�nym niedowierzania g�osem. Ruda skin�a g�ow�.
-Ale ty przez 5 lat mia�a� go g��boko…
-Remus. Nie wyskakuj z gaci. – powiedzia�a Lilly spokojnie, delikatnie klepi�c Lunatyka po policzku. Ten skrzywi� si�.
-S�uchaj. Ju� wczoraj chcia�am to z nim wyja�ni�, wi�c na pr�b� u�miechn�am si� do niego. A ten gumoch�on krety�ski, ca�y czas na mnie patrz�c, obj�� inn�! – Remus u�miechn�� si� na te s�owa.
-Jeste� zazdrosna. – stwierdzi�. Ruda pokr�ci�a g�ow� i westchn�a. Usiad�a na pod�odze, a ch�opak obok niej.
-Nie… po prostu… wyobra� sobie : od 5 lat s�yszysz : Lilly, kocham ci�, Lilly, um�w si� ze mn�, Lilly, jeste� moim �yciem, nikt poza tob�… i tak dalej, i tak dalej… a tu nagle, na moich oczach, obejmuje inn�. Poczu�am si�… - zamilk�a nagle, jakby zdziwi�o j� w�asne odkrycie.
-Zdradzona…? – podsun�� Lupin, delikatnie obejmuj�c sztywn� dziewczyn�.
-No w�a�nie. - wyszepta�a, opieraj�c g�ow� na jego ramieniu.
-I oszukana. – doda�a i poci�gn�a nosem.
-Ale wiesz… skoro to czuj�… to chyba odczuwam te� co� do tego kretyna, nie? – spyta�a, rumieni�c si� lekko. Remus u�miechn�� si� na te s�owa.
-Chyba tak. – mrukn�� cicho.
-No w�a�nie. Tak sobie pomy�la�am… wi�c znowu chcia�am z nim pogada�, dzisiaj po eliksirach… a ten �ajnojad spr�bowa� mnie obmacywa�! – wyprostowa�a si�, oburzenie wywo�ane tym wspomnieniem wytr�ci�o j� z refleksyjnego nastroju.
-Wi�c potraktowa�a� go… - zacz�� Remus.
-…tak, jak na to zas�u�y�. – przerwa�a mu Lilly i oboje wybuchn�li �miechem. Przez chwil� panowa�a cisza, jedna z tych dobrych cisz, kt�re zapadaj� pomi�dzy dobrze rozumiej�cymi si� lud�mi.
-Ale to nadal nic nie rozwi�zuje… On nadal jest na mnie z�y, s�usznie z reszt�. – przerwa� cisz� Remus.
-Luniek, daj spok�j. Przyja�nimy si�, tak? Ty si� przyja�nisz nie tylko z nim, ale tak�e ze mn�. No. Wi�c wobec mnie te� powiniene� by� uczciwy, a nie tylko wobec niego. – zaoponowa�a Ruda.
-Ale ja w�a�nie wobec ciebie ca�y czas by�em, a wobec niego nie! – zaprotestowa� zrezygnowany Lupin.
-To nie tak. Owszem, mog�e� powiedzie� mu, �e si� przyja�nimy. Ale on by ci wtedy nie da� �y�. Zam�cza�by ci� ca�y czas. To by by�o…
-straszne…? – odezwa� si� pozornie weso�y g�os i z ciemno�ci zau�ka wychyn�� nie kto inny… jak Potter. Lunatyk zamar�.
-Jak…? Sk�d…? – wyj�ka�, patrz�c to na zau�ek, to na Rogacza.
-Mapa… - sykn�� cicho James, wwiercaj�c zimny wzrok w przyjaciela.
-Trzeba by�o uwa�a�, gdzie si� j� zostawia...- doda�, podchodz�c do nich.
-Czego tu chcesz, Potter? – spyta�a agresywnie Lilly, wstaj�c.
-Zauwa�y�em, �e jeste�cie razem, pomy�la�em wi�c, �e mo�e si� przy��cz�… i porozmawiamy. – ca�y czas u�ywa� tego pozornie weso�ego tonu. Lecz gdzie� w g��bi mo�na by�o wyczu� w nim gro�b�… Niespodziewanie Ruda si� rozpogodzi�a.
-To jest my�l! – powiedzia�a weso�o, u�miechaj�c si� do milcz�cego Lunatyka.
-W ko�cu wszyscy sobie wszystko wyja�nimy… Ale nie tutaj, chod�my to 7 pi�tro… - rzuci�a i pogna�a schodami. Ch�opcy spojrzeli na siebie i powoli ruszyli za ni�.


-No tak… - mrukn�� Potter, zatrzymuj�c si� pod portretem Barnabiasza Bzika i jego trolli.
-My�leli�cie, �e tylko wy o nim wiecie? – spyta�a go zimno Rudow�osa. James wzruszy� ramionami, ale spojrza� na ni� z uznaniem. Prychn�a i zacz�a chodzi� wzd�u� �ciany.
Raz…
Dwa…
Trzy…
Ukaza�y si� drzwi i dziewczyna znikn�a za nimi, a zaraz za ni� Potter. Remus prze�kn�� �lin�. Zbli�y� si� do d�bowych drzwiczek i delikatnie dotkn�� klamki. Zamkn�� oczy i nacisn��…

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