Pamiętnikiem opiekuje się Juliette Chang=Julicious

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Środa, 18 Lipca, 2007, 19:55

Sen... ("Czym" siê stanê???)

Sz³am ciemnym korytarzem… Moje serce by³o przepe³nione niezwyk³ym uczuciem… Bardzo czego¶ pragnê³am… Choæ sama nie wiedzia³am czego. Sz³am jednak pewnie, wci±¿ przed siebie… Na koñcu korytarza, którym pod±¿a³am ukaza³ siê du¿y balkon sk±pany w srebrzystym ¶wietle ksiê¿yca. By³a pe³nia… Poczu³am wielk± ochotê aby z niego skoczyæ i daæ siê ponie¶æ lekkiemu wiaterkowi… Mocniejszy powiew smagn±³ mnie po twarzy, jakby zachêcaj±c do skoku… Zapach moich w³osów poniós³ siê na wietrze. Podesz³am do balustrady…

- A³a!!- syknê³am z bólu, który nagle odczu³am w okolicy swoich ³opatek. By³ tak mocny, i¿ musia³am siê wgry¼æ w poduszkê aby zag³uszyæ kolejny okrzyk.
Jednak ból min±³ tak samo szybko jak siê pojawi³. Le¿a³am w ciszy nas³uchuj±c czy nie obudzi³am ¿adnej z kole¿anek. Dormitorium zape³nione by³o jedynie miarowymi oddechami dziewczyn. Odkry³am siê… By³o mi bardzo gor±co…
Obróci³am siê na bok ton±c w my¶lach. Nigdy nic podobnego mi siê nie przydarzy³o. Ten ból by³ tak niezwykle realny…
¯adnym sposobem nie mog³am sobie poradziæ z bezsenno¶ci±, która dopad³a mnie po przebudzeniu. Usiad³am na ³ó¿ku, odchyli³am kotary i okaza³o siê, ¿e ju¿ ¶wita… Spojrza³am na zegarek. By³o kilka minut przed szóst±.
Prawie do koñca rozbudzona skierowa³am swoje kroki ku Pokojowi Wspólnemu.

- Tato, ale ja siê o ni± martwiê… - us³ysza³am g³os Dereka i stanê³am wryta jak s³up soli.
- Synu, czy to na pewno nasze rodowe wzory? – odpowiedzia³ mu niski, mêski g³os.
- Tak. Maj± nawet ten sam kolor. – jêkn±³ Derek.
- Malinowe? Na pewno s± m a l i n o w e?? – zapyta³ zawziêcie mê¿czyzna.
Wyjrza³am zza rogu korytarzyka i dostrzeg³am Dereka klêcz±cego na dywanie przed kominkiem. Kiwn±³ g³ow± w potakuj±cym ge¶cie.
- A wiêc proszek Fiuu. – pomy¶la³am.
- Derek… Ona na zawsze bêdzie po³±czona w pewien sposób z nasz± rodzin±.
- To mi akurat nie przeszkadza, Tato. – powiedzia³ ch³opak z rado¶ci± w g³osie…
- Co¶ was ³±czy? – zapyta³ zaciekawiony ojciec Dereka.
- To znaczy… No… Tak jakby…
- Synu, uczuæ nie trzeba siê wstydziæ. Wrêcz nie wolno!… Widzê, ¿e jeste¶ do niej bardzo przywi±zany. No i pewnie ci siê podoba…
Nie mia³am ju¿ odwagi wyjrzeæ zza winkla, ale cichy ¶miech ojca ch³opaka utwierdzi³ mnie w przekonaniu, ¿e Derek kiwn±³ g³ow±.
- Tato… Czy ona… Zawsze?
- Tak… Ka¿dej pe³ni stanie siê pó³…

-Padma, ty nie ¶pisz??? – krzyknê³a u¶miechniêta od ucha do ucha Angela (kole¿anka z roku) zbiegaj±c po schodach .
Wyskoczy³am w powietrze jak poparzona i g³o¶nio wci±gnê³am powietrze.
Us³ysza³am ciche pykniêcie i po chwili odpowiedzia³am dziewczynie:
- Ale mnie przestraszy³a¶, wariatko! Po prostu jestem g³odna i mia³am wpa¶æ do kuchni po co¶ s³odkiego…
- S³odycze z samego rana? – zapyta³a z ironi± w g³osie.
- Mam chêæ. Ale skoro ty nie chcesz… - I odwróci³am siê wiedz±c co zaraz nast±pi…
- Oszala³a¶? Idê z tob±! - krzyknê³a.
Mia³y¶my ju¿ wkroczyæ do Pokoju Wspólnego, gdy nagle przed naszymi oczami mign±³ zarys Dereka. W pe³nym pêdzie wyskoczy³ na korytarz i tyle go widzia³y¶my... Wcale mnie to nie pocieszy³o . Wiedzia³am, ¿e zapewne domy¶li³ siê, ¿e go pods³ucha³am, ale tak czy siak bêdzie mi musia³ wyja¶niæ co siê dzieje… Wiêcej siê nie wykrêci bajeczkami o zdech³ym psie .
- Co z nim? – zapyta³a szczerze zdziwiona Angela.
- Nie mam pojêcia – sk³ama³am. – To idziemy po s³odycze?
- Oczywi¶cie. – odpar³a z u¶miechem i ca³kowicie zapomnia³a o dziwnym zachowaniu Dereka.
Gdy sz³y¶my do kuchni nie mog³am przestaæ my¶leæ o tym co us³ysza³am… Spojrza³am na moje paznokcie. Nadal mia³y te wzorki. Bez w±tpienia by³y w³a¶nie malinowe… I co pe³niê bêdê siê stawa³a pó³… Czym? To mnie niepokoi³o najbardziej…
Jednak u¶miech na mej twarzy wywo³a³o wspomnienie kilku s³ów ojca Dereka: „Widzê, ¿e jeste¶ do niej bardzo przywi±zany. No i pewnie ci siê podoba…” .

-Padma… Chyba mia³y¶my i¶æ do kuchni? – zapyta³a Angela.
-Nooo… - odpar³am nieprzytomnie i stanê³am w miejscu. By³am kilka metrów za obrazem z mis± owoców. – Trochê siê zamy¶li³am…
- Dereku¶, co ? – zapyta³a z szelmowskim u¶miechem.
- Odwal siê! – szturchnê³am j±, po czym po³askota³am gruszkê, poci±gnê³am za zielon± klamkê i wkroczy³am do pachn±cej i zagêszczonej skrzatami kuchni. – Zajmijmy siê s³odyczami – rzuci³am do Angeli przez ramiê.

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